


Black Cat White Cat

by fineinthemorning



Category: B-PROJECT 鼓動＊アンビシャス | B-PROJECT: Kodou Ambitious
Genre: Best Friends, Crossdressing, Domestic Fluff, Feels, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Idols, Kissing, M/M, Masturbation, OTP Kiss Challenge, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-08-08 19:43:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7770541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fineinthemorning/pseuds/fineinthemorning
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I want to become the reason you smile; I wonder how I can do that. This story is like a daydream. My feelings for you gently sway. I'm sure they won't reach but I won't waver.</p><p>A collection of Kitakore drabbles that are all interrelated and somewhat follow a plot~</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First

**Author's Note:**

> The words in the summary are lyrics from the fifth episode insert song as translated by [llama like Sarah](https://llamalikesarah.blogspot.com/2016/07/b-project-ashita-wa-kyou-yori-yume.html).

“What are you reading?” It was the night after the photoshoot in which Ryuuji had regained his memories. All day, Tomohisa had been watching him carefully. Ryuuji had been acting as if none of it had bothered him- really, as if it hadn’t happened at all. It had been rather worrisome. Tomohisa was familiar with Ryuuji’s avoidant behavior. Ryuuji always put work first before everything else. If he could, he’d run away from any problems he had until enough time had passed that the sting of the issue had dissipated into a quiet ache. Eventually, with time, these things could be forgotten and with a deep breath, he could just move on. It wasn't the best way of dealing with things, but it was something. Tomohisa would never criticize what worked for Ryuuji, even if, at times, it was a bit of a broken system as could be seen when the reporter had recently pressured him. Tomohisa, again, was familiar with this behavior from Ryuuji, but in the time they had become closer to one another, since the development of Kitakore, Tomohisa had lost count on how many times Ryuuji had followed this pattern.

“Reviews.” The black haired idol didn’t look up from his magazine. Nearing eleven now, it was late and he merely wanted to finish the issue before going to sleep.

“Oh?”

“We have to be aware of the competition and what the fans are most interested in.” He followed the same routine every month. He could tell Tomohisa wasn’t actually asking about his magazine. It was strange that his partner not be more forthcoming with what was on his mind. He hoped Tomohisa wasn’t worried about him after what had happened yesterday and the day before; it wasn’t worth it.

“True, anything interesting?” Tomohisa sat down in the middle of the couch. He was just close enough that he could read over Ryuuji’s shoulder if he leaned closer, but he didn’t.

“Nothing new, really . . . There generally aren’t that many two person groups. It makes us unique.”

“How many members are there usually?” Tomohisa honestly didn’t know.

“Typically five to ten members. There are usually more members in female groups. You should know these things, Tomo.” Ryuuji’s tone had gone from tired, to technical, to critical in seconds.

Tomohisa took it with a grain of salt, as he often did when Ryuuji was scolding him, and merely smiled, “I’m glad I have you here to help me.”

Ryuuji smirked and went back to reading.

“Are you okay, Ryuuji?”

There it was.

Ryuuji didn’t look up, “I’m f-” he stopped. Maybe it wasn’t fair to lie to Tomohisa, who was always so honest with him. Ryuuji would be fine, of course, eventually, just- “No.”

“Is it because of what happened when you temporarily lost your memories?”

Ryuuji nodded, still not looking at Tomohisa.

“I never asked what made you leave.” Tomohisa used his words thoughtfully. He wasn’t asking now, either, but he was offering an opportunity for his partner to talk if he wanted.

“I was jealous of Tsubasa.”

Tomohisa blinked, not quite understanding what there was to be jealous of.

Ryuuji internally screamed in frustration which only came across on the outside as a slight furrowing of the eyebrows. Sometimes, Tomohisa could be very empathetic, and, at other times, he could be very clueless. He was so strange like that- as much a capable adult as he was an ignorant child.  He offered more, “As a child . . . I wanted you to only look at me.”

That had done the trick. Tomohisa understood. He turned his body towards Ryuuji, pulling one leg up on the couch, and smiled knowingly, “And now?”

Ryuuji looked up and shook his head slightly, and blushed, “We have our fans now.”

“Our fans don’t have to know.” Tomohisa felt himself blush at his own words that had spilled out his mouth before he could process them.

Ryuuji somehow managed a smirk with his still blushing cheeks, and he put a finger over his lips to indicate silence.

It was the approval he needed. The silver haired prince reached an arm around his partner, his hand landing on his lower back, and turned him gently so that they were facing one another. Ryuuji gripped the magazine tightly as his glassy eyes fell closed, his body ready- waiting. Tomohisa leaned down, eyes half open as he watched his partner’s every move, and then he abruptly stopped and let go.

Tomohisa came to his senses, turquoise eyes glistening with concern as they searched Ryuuji’s rubellite colored irises that were staring back at him in shock. He whispered, certain now that he had likely ruined whatever had come between them by pulling back away, but deciding it best to ask anyway, “Are you sure you-”

Ryuuji’s wide eyes narrowed slightly, his mouth developing a pout as his cheeks pinkened, “Are you going to kiss me or not?”

Tomohisa smiled gently; he should have expected the response. If it was something Ryuuji honestly didn’t want, he would have pushed him away before they’d come this close.

Ryuuji’s blush deepened and Tomohisa resumed his prior embrace and closed the distance between their lips in a soft kiss.

It wasn’t quick, but it didn’t linger, either. Tomohisa pulled away and resumed his position on the couch to leave Ryuuji blushing deeply and reaching for a Chupa Chups lollipop as he turned his head away. The magazine was still in one hand; he had bent several pages.

“Well?” Tomohisa was studying the way his partner’s hair fell like a short river down his neck in the back. He had always liked Ryuuji’s hair. It had changed a few times in his life, but Ryuuji had settled on having part of it long and part of it short. He had said he liked the feeling of long hair, but he was not thrilled about maintaining it so much. On top of that, while it wasn’t something that particularly bothered him, he didn’t like being mistaken as a woman nine out of ten times. At least, with his current hairstyle it was only about four out of ten.

Ryuuji still hadn’t turned around, but the sound of teeth on hard candy could be heard. “I thought you liked Tsubasa-san?” he asked quietly.

“You mean in the car?” Tomohisa was smiling in his partner’s direction, even if Ryuuji refused to turn around.

When Ryuuji didn’t respond, the prince went on, “It seemed appropriate. She had worked very hard for us.”

A sigh could be heard, “You don’t kiss women as a ‘thank you’, especially when they’re asleep.” Ryuuji had found that despite how long they had known one-another, he was still finding things he had to explain to Tomohisa. Really, this was just common social norms. Was he really being serious?

Tomohisa chuckled as if he could hear his partner’s inner thoughts, “I may have wanted to see your reaction as well?”

Ryuuji turned around without thinking. He was still blushing and the stick of the lollipop was sticking out from his mouth, “What’s that supposed to mean?” He meant to be angry, but when his eyes met Tomohisa’s, his annoyance dissipated.

“I love seeing how you respond to things," Tomohisa replied simply with a smile.

Ryuuji stared. Love? He shouldn’t have used that word. “Stupid.” Ryuuji turned back around. He opened the magazine, but he kept reading the same sentence over and over again. His mind simply wasn't able to process anything beyond what had just happened.

Tomohisa continued to give a gentle smile, “May I . . . kiss you again sometime?”

Ryuuji subconsciously put hands on his cheeks as if to cool them down with his flat palms, “F-fine . . .”


	2. 1.5

“It’s finished.” Ryuuji finished adjusting the thin obi on the violet kimono that was assigned to him for the audition of a drama his father was working on. In truth, he didn’t really see the point of wearing one. This was a first audition and there was still a second audition to pass with his father outside of town. It was a bit over the top to have costumes for this one, but he didn’t mind. One of his favorite aspects of being an idol was having the opportunity to dress in all kinds of clothing. He liked appearing stylish, and he took great pride in maintaining his looks.

While he had been in the industry a long time, he had never actually worked with his father before. He would do his best for Kitakore, as always, but he didn’t particularly want the job. It was only one part, anyway, so what was the point if Tomohisa wasn’t working with him?

Tomohisa took a step towards him, at somewhat of a loss. He was holding the sash that tied around his waist in his hands as though it were some foreign object. Ryuuji smiled knowingly, a bit of mischief hidden in the curves of his lips.

“I don’t know how to tie it,” Tomohisa admitted with a smile.

It was just as he thought. Kitakado was the only son of a wealthy and unusual family with his father being a successful doctor, his mother being an eccentric Italian woman, and his grandfather owning a pharmaceutical company. It had led to him growing up in an equally unusual household. He had been home-schooled and his mother had impressed upon him quite a few contrasting ideals to what were largely held beliefs in Japanese society. It worked well for him as an idol, however, as he gave off that sort of foreign prince feeling. Unfortunately for Kitakado, though, traditions in Japan were rather important, so he at times appeared painfully ignorant of some of the customs or food or, in this case, _clothing_ that most Japanese grew up learning and experiencing as common knowledge.

“Come here,” Ryuuji motioned for him to step closer, his smile never fading.

Kitakado made his way across the dressing room. He was grateful that Ryuuji was understanding of him and didn’t look down on him for his inadequacies. His upbringing was probably one of his biggest handicaps, and, though it was difficult to embarrass him anyway, Ryuuji never made him feel ashamed. He knew how difficult it likely was for Ryuuji not to make jokes or play pranks at his expense, so he appreciated that in his hidden weakness, Ryuuji never pointed it out to the others.

“Put your arms up.”

Kitakado obeyed, smiling hopelessly as his partner went to work on the thin obi.

“Hold this,” Ryuuji had not lost his smirk as he ordered Tomohisa to hold part of the kimono so that it fit properly to his figure but was still loose enough to allow for the movement required for the audition. They had helped each other get dressed a countless number of times. There had been times in which they’d been given costumes that they had to piece together on how to put on and wear.

This time, however, was different, because this time Ryuuji couldn’t get the memory of Tomohisa leaning in to kiss him softly from replaying his mind. He could still remember how close he’d been and how he had become suddenly aware of how comfortable his scent was when it surrounded him and also how-

“There.” He’d finished. Ryuuji took a deep breath and released it slowly without it being noticeable. He needed to focus.

Just as Ryuuji looked up, Tomohisa leaned forward to initiate their second kiss when the dressing room door burst open.

Tomohisa straightened immediately.

“Ryu-chan! Tomo-kun! You ready yet?” Yuuta, in all of his bubblegum hair and bubbly personality, stepped inside with a wide smile as he threw his hands up in the air.

Ryuuji quickly recovered and faced his friend, smiling softly, “We’re coming.”

“Okaay!” Yuuta, using the same familiarity with Ryuuji as he always did, grabbed for his hand and pulled him out the door.

Tomohisa and Ryuuji’s eyes met briefly before they were separated and Ryuuji gave a playful wink.

Kitakado was left to walk out alone, thoughts wandering to places they hadn’t ever before. It had been two days since they had first kissed on the couch, but judging by Ryuuji’s reaction, apparently the second kiss couldn’t come soon enough . . .

It felt somewhat strange to Kitakado.

Just how long had Ryuuji been waiting for their lips to meet?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made up stuff about Tomohisa's mother. I'm not really sure how he grew up not eating gyu-don and takoyaki(according to the official webside); _'sheltered' is an understatement._


	3. Second

“You tried to kiss me yesterday in the dressing room.” Ryuuji had a notebook in his hand and had been tapping a mechanical pencil against its top edge for several minutes. Words were swimming in his mind but none of them would string together to make lyrics.

Kitakado was familiar with this routine. It was Korekuni, after all, that wrote most of the lyrics for their music. Tomohisa added to songs, of course, and also helped him revise here and there, but as far as the base and theme of their lyrics for each of their songs, it was Korekuni who came up with them.

“Yes?” Kitakado brought apple slices over from the kitchen and set them down on the short coffee table in front of Ryuuji.

Just as he sat down, Ryuuji put down his notebook and pencil on the same coffee table, stood, and walked into the kitchen, “Be more professional. The dressing room is no place for something like that.” He was scolding him only mildly, and Tomohisa knew exactly what the underlying tone was in his words.

He watched Ryuuji produce a small utility knife before returning to sit back in his typical spot on the right end of the couch. He grinned and rested his elbow on the left arm of the couch and tilted his head to watch his partner as he spoke, “Then _where_ would be appropriate?”

“Where?” Ryuuji gave him a look as he moved to the edge of the couch and moved the plate of sliced apples to his lap.

Without missing a beat, Tomohisa clarified, “ _Where_ should I kiss you, Ryuuji-kun?”

“A-at home,” Ryuuji stuttered as he gripped an apple slice and began to cut just beneath the skin on one end. He wasn’t looking at Kitakado again; it would be too much to look him in the eyes when he was clearly flirting with him.

But Tomohisa wouldn’t be ignored this time, and he moved from the left end of the couch to the middle cushion, leaning lower to look up into Ryuuji’s face, “You mean _right here_?”

Ryuuji blushed when his eyes fluttered to look into Tomohisa’s eyes that were reminding him more and more of precious gems. He pulled the knife from the apple and held the blade near to the other’s nose, “ _Not while I’m holding a knife._ ”

Tomohisa chuckled and straightened, putting his hands up defensively.

Ryuuji smiled back playfully, happy to have gotten his partner to laugh. He finished his work on the apple slice, which now appeared to look very much like a tiny rabbit, and handed it to the prince.

Tomohisa accepted the snack with a smile. “It’s so cute, Ryuuji.”

Ryuuji looked away and started on another slice. Tomohisa, at times, used a particular tone in his voice that only came out when he was being affectionate. It wasn't something reserved only for Ryuuji, which at times made him jealous, but it was still appreciated when he did hear it none the less. It was possible to like something too much. Ryuuji mentally prepared himself for continuing the conversation before ignoring Tomohisa’s comment and picking up where they’d left off _before_ Tomohisa had decided to be cute enough to warrant a knife threat, “Here at home is certainly more appropriate.” He kept his eyes on the next newly shaped apple slice, “I mean, if you planned on kissing me again . . .”

Ryuuji felt Tomohisa’s weight shift on the couch, and suddenly, there were two strong arms around him, embracing him from behind with one hand resting on his chest and the other on his hip.

Ryuuji felt his breath catch in his lungs.

And then his phone went off.

Tomohisa rested his forehead on Ryuuji’s left shoulder. Neither of them moved for several seconds, and Tomo was so close that Ryuji could feel him swallow the snack he'd handed Tomo just a moment ago. They were so close that Ryuji could even feel his partner's blood moving steadily through his veins.

The phone went off again.

Three text messages.

Ryuuji, blushing madly and heart beating a million miles an hour, remembered to breathe, set down the knife, and picked up his phone.

 

**Gochin, Momo, and Mikado just got back!**

**They’re here at the Moons apartment if you and Tomo want to come.**

**Momo was hurt, but he’s okay! Tatsuhiro is teaching them to fight! You should see! (** **ง** **•** **̀_** **•** **́)** **ง** **((** **⊂** **(`** **ω´** **∩** **)**

 

Ryuuji read the messages from Yuuta and tried to focus on the words rather than the racing of his heart. “We should go,” he said softly. He didn’t hide in his tone of voice that he wanted to stay right where he was.

Kitakado heard the request loud and clear. He let go of Ryuuji, reached for his phone, and began typing into it.

“Hey! What are you saying?” Ryuuji forgot the spell of Tomohisa on his skin as soon as the embrace had ended. He gave a mock pout as he half-heartedly reached for his phone nearly causing the plate in his lap to fall.

Tomohisa sent the message and handed it back to him casually, smiling all the while.

 

 **Ahh, I’m already going to bed. (** **✿◡‿◡** **ฺ** **)zzz**

**long day today practicing the new dance for our single**

**tell them we are cheering for them**

**night night**

 

“Night night? What am I- seven? And a flower?” Ryuuji blushed at the text; he hoped Yuuta didn’t think anything of it. He set the phone and plate back on the table.

“Well-”

“You’re teasing me,” Ryuuji pouted using a tone all too familiar to his partner.

Tomohisa smiled innocently as he spoke, “It’s no secret how cute you are, Ryuuji.”

Ryuuji went quiet, blushed, recovered, and returned the compliment with a mischievous grin, “I never said it was.”

The phone went off again to indicate Yuuta’s message wishing Ryuuji the ‘sweetest dreams’, but Ryuuji couldn’t reach the phone any longer. Tomohisa had resumed his prior embrace and had pulled Ryuuji back from the edge of the couch.

“You started acting differently since Tsubasa-san joined us.”

Ryuuji only blushed. Tomohisa had mentioned it a few times; he didn’t realize he was such an obvious person. He wanted to think he was more mysterious than that, but apparently he was not as good at hiding things as he thought.

“Why is that?” Tomohisa leaned his head forward and rested his lips against the soft, tender skin of Ryuuji’s neck.

Ryuuji felt his blood boil in the embrace; he’d never thought he’d ever be held like this by Tomohisa. It was both thrilling and frightening at the same time, so his words came out in a quiver, “I thought- you seemed interested in her.”

Tomohisa, on the other hand, seemed to be completely in control. “I was only polite.”

“You’re polite to everyone.” Ryuuji shot back quickly, his cheeks pinkening as he felt Tomohisa’s breath on his neck. “It was different.”

“And what about yourself?” Tomohisa sat up straight, and his arms slowly pulled away.

It made Ryuuji feel cold. His tone was serious as he spoke honestly; he believed his feelings to no longer be a secret even if he hadn’t exactly spoken them aloud, “I’m not used to someone being with us all the time at work. I thought she would come between us.”

Tomohisa gently turned Ryuuji’s face so that their eyes could meet- the sea met the rare pinks of a cloudy evening sunset. “ _Nothing could ever come between us._ ”

“Tomo . . .” Ryuuji felt his heart stop as if gripped suddenly by an unnamed pain.

Tomohisa leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips. Again, the kiss was chaste but intimate.

Their eyes met once more and Ryuuji tried to hide the pain gripping at his heart with a smile. It wasn’t enough. That single kiss wasn’t enough. His arms moved to hang lazily on Tomohisa’s shoulders. Slowly, like a cat waiting for the perfect moment to pounce, Ryuuji wrapped his arms around the back of Tomohisa’s neck to force them together again, this time opening his mouth to press Tomohisa inside.

Surprised, yet properly seduced, Tomohisa gave in and let his tongue explore. Ryuuji’s kiss was eager and messy, and Tomohisa’s own inexperience couldn’t make up for it.

Without realizing it, they were together, for the first time, experiencing their first kiss.

Tomohisa pulled away and stared in silence into his partner’s eyes. In Ryuuji, he was seeing something he had never noticed before, and it left him all rather confused.

Just how much . . . had Ryuuji wanted this?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, so, I'm putting the feelings more-so on Ryuuji's part than Tomohisa's. What do you think? :D


	4. Doesn't Count

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More cheesy, fluffy, trashy nonsense. :p

“My beautiful bride.” Tomohisa extended a hand to his lover and soon to be husband with a gentleness in his eyes reserved only for him.

Ryuuji, wearing a white gown, white gloves, a white, flowered fascinator, and white heels, gave him his hand and stood to walk with him through the garden path leading down to the ceremony. From where they were, he could see a trellis covered in wisteria. Beyond that, people were waiting in white chairs. It was small, but the purpose of the gathering was unmistakeable. 

Ryuuji, dressed as properly done-up western style bride, smiled at Tomo but then quickly looked away, blushing.

Ryuuji was a lucid dreamer. He knew right away that none of this was real. It made him appreciate it more as he tried to take in every detail of the light through the trees and the scent of the Earth surrounding them and the lace on his skin. He could typically govern his own actions in his dreams, but it varied what influence he had otherwise. He’d let his subconscious guide him- let Tomo take him to whatever he needed so desperately enough that he’d create such a scenario in his hours spent asleep.

Was this a desire he had yet to admit to himself?

He looked back to Tomo, fuchsia eyes blinking. Tomohisa was wearing the white suit he’d worn for a shoot for one of their album covers but he didn’t appear any different than normal; he was as beautiful and shining as he typically was. What Ryuji did notice was that his eyes were on him, never straying. The prince wasn’t even watching where he was going, apparently confident of the direction they were walking in together. 

Ryuuji blushed even more deeply and Tomo stopped walking to turn towards him in concern.

“Are you okay, Ryuuji?” As he spoke, he reached for Ryuuji’s hands and entwined their fingers together. In the dreams Ryuuji had in which himself and Tomo were together as a couple, Tomo was always incredibly affectionate and quite handsy. Ryuuji had a precise idea on what he wanted from Tomo apparently.

“Do I?” Ryuuji’s voice grew quieter, “Do I really make a beautiful bride?” It wasn’t the question he’d wanted to ask.

But, this was his dream, so Tomo understood and responded exactly the way he would have wanted him to by bringing his gloved fingers to his mouth and kissing them before saying, “Whether as a man or a woman, your brilliance is without comparison.”

Ryuuji rolled his eyes and sighed. It was so cliche, but he knew it was honest coming from Tomo.

“What  _ about _ my brilliance?” Ryuuji selfishly wanted more. Truly, he always wanted more from Tomo, but he knew better than to ever expect anything. He’d trained himself through the years not to. He’d saved himself many times from acting unprofessionally in a few circumstances and immaturely in several.

“Your smile,” Tomo moved his hands and let go of Ryuuji’s to place his own on his lover. One landed on the small of Ryuuji’s back and the other gently tipped his chin up to prevent Ryuuji from looking away. “Your smile is healing,” Tomo kissed his lips softly and Ryuuji could feel a gloss he didn’t typically wear on them. “Your eyes are both passionate and delicate-always kind,” Tomo’s lips barely kissed the corner of Ryuuji’s left eyebrow as if he were worried he’d mess up his makeup. “Your features are seraphic- angel or devil doesn’t matter. I’m content to be saved by you.”

“T-Tomo-” Ryuuji couldn’t pull his eyes away despite how deeply embarrassed he was. Tomo had said too much.

“Today we will be eternally bound to one another. I will remember this day as the beginning of ‘forever’- the bliss I will spend with you as mine and myself as yours.”

“Tomo-” Ryuuji lost himself in the words he’d never hear Tomo say, and as his groom leaned down to kiss him, he closed his eyes and pressed himself into his lover in hope that he’d spend just a few more lingering moments in the dream that would never be a reality.

 

Ryuuji woke up to the sound of his phone. He hesitated to reach for it. After a deep breath, he could feel that he was hard and so he touched himself absently, stroking more out of a need to relieve pressure than anything else. He’d probably had a hundred dreams in his lifetime about Tomo, but this had been the first in which they were to be wed. 

Stupid.

Something like that wasn’t even possible legally or otherwise; he apparently could dream about Tomo requesting such a thing but even now, as he touched himself, it was hard to imagine it as an actual possibility. Besides, it had taken him over a decade just to work up the courage to kiss his long-time friend and partner. The very thought of marriage was ridiculous. 

The phone went off again, and Ryuuji groaned before grabbing it off his nightstand with his free hand.

It was Tomo. Ryuuji blinked, suddenly awake and sat up to tap away with both hands at the screen. Tomo needed him. Hikaru needed him. This was no time to be indulging in fantasies, which is really all they were; he had to find that medicine. Now.


	5. Third, Fourth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no beta sorry

The truth was that Ryuuji was happy for the emergency.

It was selfish, yes, but he hated being alone in the apartment without Tomohisa. No, that was wrong. He hated being apart from Tomohisa in general.

When they’d arrived at the ryokan the others had been staying in, he’d been relieved that Hikaru was fine, but that had immediately been replaced with the small anxious feeling that they’d be returning sooner. Surely Tsubasa would at least insist that they stay the night?

“It’s nearly three, but, please, won’t all of you stay?” Tsubasa, on cue, began to fret over the well-being of her clients. It had taken time, but Ryuuji had come to appreciate her in more ways than one- the largest part being that she was incredibly thoughtful and always quite earnest to the point that he felt bad teasing her or being sharp with her.

Goushi frowned, “I’m not riding back in that helicopter now. Let me sleep. I don’t have an appointment until one. How about the rest of you?”

“Nothing tomorrow,” Ryuuji said quickly, his eyes flitting over to catch Tomo’s for only a second before focusing on Tsubasa again.

“Mikado and I have something at four,” Momotaru supplied gently.

“I’m free all day!” Yuuta proclaimed cheerily.

“Thank goodness,” Tsubasa smiled with a hand to her chest. All of you should rest here tonight, then. I’ll go and make accommodations. I’ll be right back!”

In her absence, the atmosphere relaxed somewhat. “You should get some rest.” Tatsuhiro put a hand on Hikaru’s shoulder, “Our call time is in six hours.”

“It’s true,” Hikaru chuckled playfully, “I have had quite a bit of fun today.”

“I’ll start laying out the futons while the rest of you get dressed,” Kitakado’s kindness was boundless when he appeared to take the role of the leader when the ten of them were together. Ryuuji had mixed feelings over it. He knew how well Tomo was suited to the role, but at the same time, calling him the leader of B-Project made it feel like he was somehow less his as his responsibility was divided between all of them rather than focused singularly on Kitakore.

“I’ll get some water for your medicine, Hikaru,” Kazuna offered as he left the room to find a glass.

As everyone began to move about, Ryuuji took note that things were getting worse between Kazuna and Tomo- not better. He knew Kazuna’s feelings were complicated, but he didn’t understand them completely. He had decided a while ago, since B-Project had first begun practicing, that it had something to do with jealousy, but it didn’t feel like it was that simple, either. Tomo never talked about it, and Ryuuji never asked. Really, from Ryuuji's perspective, there was no point if Kazuna was going to act immaturely about it.

When Tsubasa had returned, half of them were dressed for bed in robes provided by the ryokan and were already settling in for the night. She directed the newly arrived half of B-Project to another large room on the left side of the building facing the lake. Inside, there were robes provided for them as well. After insisting to Tsubasa that they were fine to sleep, she left for her own room and the rest of them got ready for bed. Soon enough, they were all sound asleep.

Except Ryuuji.

He’d put on the robe, and he’d gotten into the futon that rested between Momo’s and Yuuta’s, but after twenty minutes of listening to everyone else’s steady breathing, he quietly slipped out from beneath the covers and out the door with the stealth and grace of a cat. He leaned on the railing of the porch outside that outlined the perimeter of the building for a minute before deciding to move to sit on top of it. The lights were mostly out in the inn and before him only the moon reflected light on the water. No one would be there to see him. Sitting on the railing, he leaned his head on one of the strong wooden posts that held the roof above him and began to hum quietly.

He could not escape the memory of that dream. He had several others that haunted him from time to time, and as soon as he’d woken up, he knew this would be another to add to the list. He couldn’t recall exactly what Tomo had said, but he could still see the violet wisteria and he could smell the earth as he could now. He could feel the weight of the beautiful lace dress and he could feel the same emotions blossoming in his chest.

He’d loved Tomo for a very long time.

But it was clear to him now as it had been in the years that he’d known him, that they did not share mutual feelings.

Maybe Tomo was curious. He certainly cared deeply for him, Ryuuji knew that, but- Maybe it would just take time. Now that some amount of his feelings had been made known, perhaps Tomo would begin to see him differently.

“Pachelbel’s Canon?”

Ryuuji grabbed the post beside him as he nearly fell from the railing in surprise, but he felt familiar arms around him a second later which only made him blush and stammer, “I-I’m fine. Let go.”

Tomohisa smiled apologetically, “Sorry, sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“I’m not scared,” Ryuuji insisted as he let go of the post and straightened defiantly in a pout.

“Surprise you then,” Tomo corrected himself.

“You shouldn’t sneak up on people,” Ryuuji admonished the other’s behavior. He didn’t understand how someone so tall could be so quiet.

“My apologies,” Tomo smiled as he leaned on the railing beside him with his back towards the lake and his eyes on Ryuuji.

The smile Tomo wore worked wonders to slow the beating of Ryuuji’s heart. After a moment of staring into the other’s eyes, he broke the trance by saying flatly, “ . . . You should be asleep.”

“As should you,” Tomo smiled back knowing full well that Ryuuji’s words were entirely out of concern.

“I don’t work in the morning,” Ryuuji insisted quickly.

“I’m fine where I am, thank you,” Tomo countered politely.

“Don’t become an unnecessary burden to anyone tomorrow,” was Ryuuji’s threat towards Tomo that he had better take care of himself.

“I know better than that,” was Tomo’s confirmation that he’d heard the threat loud and clear.

Tomo captured Ryuuji’s eyes and held them. For a long period, neither of them said a word. Ryuuji was happy not much had changed between them, but he had been wanting more from Tomo since he had known what it meant to want anyone. He could be endlessly patient when it came to the prince.

The sound of a fish in the lake snapped Ryuuji from his spell.

“You’re supposed to tell me how much you missed me,” he grinned out at the lake mischievously.

“After only two days?” Tomo asked, watching him.

Ryuuji narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms, “Yes, of course.”

Tomohisa kept his eyes on Ryuuji as he spoke, “I missed you when we were on the shinkansen coming here. The food cart was selling Chupa Chups, which I thought was odd. I bought one because I thought it best to eat one in your place.”

Ryuuji blushed in surprise, not expecting that at all, “What? You’re not being serious.”

Tomo went on and Ryuuji watched his lips as he spoke, “Also, on the train, we passed an aquarium. Hikaru was very excited and kept saying something about penguins. It made me wish I could take you. I’ve only ever been to one aquarium and it was quite small. I thought it would be nice to go with you. Then, I spent several minutes thinking how similar you are to the ocean. You are always attempting to maintain a calm and collected exterior that cannot be broken but beneath the surface, you are complicated and passionate and colorful and mysterious and playf-”

Unable to hold back any longer, Ryuuji leaned down from his position on the railing and pressed his lips to his partner’s. Nearly losing balance, his right hand gripped suddenly to the post to steady himself and his left hand fell to Tomohisa’s right shoulder. Again, it was Ryuuji who deepened the kiss, desperately attempting to taste every bit of Tomo he could and open himself up so that Tomo could fill him. He felt Tomo’s arms around his waist to steady him on the railing and it gave Ryuuji the confidence to relax further into the kiss.

The creaking of wood could be heard and the two broke apart suddenly to see the silhouette of someone escaping back around the corner of the building.

“Someone saw us,” Ryuuji took a deep breath. Inside, he was just as Tomo said, but he wouldn’t let that show on the surface.

“Don’t worry,” Tomo replied gently. He put his hands on his hips and gently helped Ryuuji down from the railing to stand beside him.

Back on two feet, Ryuuji let his forehead rest on Tomohisa’s chest, “Tomo-”

“We have nothing to be ashamed of,” The elder of the two interrupted.

Ryuuji took a step back and shook his head, “We have _everything_ to be ashamed of. We’re idols. We can’t-”

Kitakado closed the distance between them once more and wrapped him in a loose embrace, “Shh, it’s okay.”

“It’s not,” Ryuuji replied, tone serious.

“We’re among friends. Trust them.”

“I trust _you_.” It was all Ryuuji could really offer at the moment.

“Then trust me when I say that if it was someone from B-Pro, we’re fine,” Tomo left one hand on the small of Ryuuji’s back and moved the other beneath Ryuuji’s chin to force him to look at him.

Ryuuji blushed deeply. It was just like the dream.

He broke away and took another step back but met his partner’s eyes confidently, “I trust _you_.”

Kitakado didn’t understand why Ryuuji was distancing himself, but in hopes that it wasn’t because he regretted their new intimacy, Tomo closed the distance between them yet again only to place a soft kiss on the top of the other’s head, “Goodnight, Ryuuji, please do sleep.”

Blushing, Ryuuji looked up only briefly to respond, “Goodnight, Tomo.”

Ryuuji returned to the room he shared with the others and noted that all were still asleep.

Tomo returned to the room he shared and failed to notice that one person’s breathing was just a little off.

Kazuna, who was positioned on the side opposite Tomohisa, was blushing as he pretended to sleep.

He’d seen something he shouldn’t have, and now he was left with the burden of a rather heavy secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pachelbel’s Canon in D is used in a lot of western weddings.  
> Violet wisteria is known in Japanese folklore as being tied to a story about a woman who lives in a painting and loves a man from afar for a long time. She comes out of the painting to meet him, but he does not return her feelings, so she returns to the painting to continue to watch over him still holding her feelings for him. T-T  
> Wisteria is also associated with weddings in Japanese and Chinese culture, too. 
> 
> I didn't think this story would have a plot, but, eh- maybe a tiny one is okay?


	6. Fifth

“I’m home,” Tomohisa called as he came in through the door. He hadn’t texted Ryuuji all day, but he had assumed he’d be home as nothing to his knowledge had been scheduled. Typically, when Ryuuji had the day off, he went shopping in Omotesando, Harajuku, or Shibuya, but it was already nearly eleven at night, so he should have been home by now.

“Ryuuji?” Tomohisa slipped on his house shoes and rolled his small suitcase in to sit in front of his own bedroom door. They hadn’t been able to speak that morning. Ryuuji had slept in and Tomohisa was already on set by the time he’d woken up.

He moved into the living room to check the couch, but no one was there. He knocked softly on Ryuuji’s door, but there was no answer. He tried the knob to find that it was unlocked and walked through the open door to look inside. Ryuuji wasn’t in bed either.

Tomo gave a lingering search with his eyes about the room. On the nightstand beside the bed was another journal, but it was one he’d not seen Ryuuji with. A diary? Tomohisa quickly retreated and shut the door before he dared act on impulse. He respected Ryuuji more than that. Ryuuji would speak to him with time; he just needed to be patient which was something he could most certainly handle.

Back in the living room, he checked the few places where they typically left each other notes concerning little things like their whereabouts or if they’d left something for the other in the fridge. They typically did not text each other while at work, so the traditional paper note was their typical method within the apartment.

Tomohisa made it to the last spot, the refrigerator, and there it was- a note from Ryuuji.

**I went upstairs to write.**

**-Ryuuji ₍⸍⸌̣ʷ̣̫ ⸍̣⸌₎**

Upstairs would be the Moons's apartment as they had the top floor. Tomohisa found it strange that he’d go there, especially this late, but no matter. Now that he knew where he was, he could shower quickly and head up to see him.

Twenty minutes later, hair still wet, he knocked gently on the door to the Moons’s apartment. When no one answered, he knocked again. He waited a full minute before Kazuna opened the door slowly, “T-Tomo?”

“Kazu? I’m sorry. Were you already asleep?” Kitakado felt instant regret. He knew how tired Kazuna was after working as they had all day and staying up the night before. He should have waited to see Ryuuji in the morning.

Kazuna, dressed in his pajamas, wouldn’t look into Tomo’s eyes for more than a few seconds; it was something that had been going on all day away from the view of the cameras. Tomo wouldn’t pry; he hoped that Kazuna would speak to him about whatever was on his mind soon. Kazuna gave a fake yawn, “No, but I was headed there. What is it?” His tone was neutral. It was so obvious to Kitakado when Kazuna lied, but again, he wouldn’t say a word.

“Ryuuji left a note saying he had come here. Is he still here?”

A blush suddenly surfaced on Kazuna’s face, “Kore-kun? No, he’s not here.”

“Really?” Tomo asked again, surprised and speaking before thinking it through.

Kazuna’s eyes narrowed only slightly, but his tone held a twinge of annoyance, “Yes, that’s what I said. He’s not here.”

Tomohisa was immediately apologetic, “I see. Sorry for disturbing all of you. Good night, Kazuna.”

“Good night,” was all he said before shutting the door.

Upstairs? Either Kazuna was lying, which Tomohisa hoped would never be the case, or- The only thing above the Moons’ apartment was the roof. Tomohisa made for the stairway to get outside to the roof. The first thing he noticed when he made it outside was that there were no stars or a moon. Dark clouds were rolling across the sky and the smell in the air signaled that it would rain soon.

A few meters away was the small covered patio that had a thinly thatched roof above it. There were a few chairs, a table, and a couch. Tomo breathed a sigh of relief to see Ryuuji asleep on the couch. Tomo moved closer to him and took note of the abundant light pollution in the area. He could clearly make out all of Ryuuji’s features as he slept despite there only being a single lighted candle on the table.

Tomohisa knelt on the patio floor in front of him and gently moved hair from his dearest friend's eyes. His angel. His devil. It didn’t matter. What did matter was that he couldn’t call him his yet- not yet. Ryuuji shined brightest when he was free to be wild; Tomohisa would let Ryuuji decide what he wanted most from him.

“Ryuuji?”

Ryuuji opened his eyes slowly, but, upon realizing where he was, he shot up into a sitting position, nearly hitting Tomohisa with his feet in the process, “T-Tomo?” He took in a deep breath to steady himself, “Ah- rain?”

Tomohisa stood, smiling, “You fell asleep outside.”

Ryuuji nodded, “Hmm, I did.” The rain began to sprinkle around them and paint the rooftop in a darker shade.

“Ryuuji?” Tomo prompted.

“Hmm?” He was watching the rain fall around them.

“You could get sick,” he chided gently.

“You’re right,” Ryuuji stretched and yawned, “I’m sorry.”

Without warning, Tomohisa moved to pick him up, one arm taking his legs and the other going behind his back. In a mere few seconds, Tomohisa was carrying him bridal style.

Ryuuji blushed deeply and struggled half-heartedly, still half asleep, “Oi, what are you doing?”

“Oi?” Tomo laughed; it was rare that Ryuuji used such an expression.

“Put me down,” Ryuuji demanded, still blushing.

Tomo grinned, “Do you promise to come inside?”

“Of course, just put me down,” Ryuuji pouted back.

Kitakado slowly set the other down, and once Ryuuji had found his footing, the prince chuckled and leaned his forehead down against Ryuuji’s. They listened, together, as the rain fell around them, their foreheads warm against each other. Tomohisa closed his eyes and his hands traveled down Ryuuji's back. Ryuuji felt himself pulled by an invisible force closer to the other's warmth. His eyes fell closed as well as he enjoyed the sensation down his spine. A few seconds later, Ryuuji moved his head, stood up taller and straighter, and kissed Tomo’s lips lightly just as the rain began to properly fall and rain down in sheets. Tomohisa moved his arms around the other to pull them closer together and as they deepened the kiss, he wondered why they’d only been doing this now for less than a month. He imagined the many kisses they could have shared if they had always been together like this . . .

Ryuuji laughed suddenly and pulled away, his words in a low pout, “Your breath tickles.”

Water began to drip through the thin roof above and Ryuuji pulled apart to search the area, “Ah, my music.”

Tomohisa picked up the familiar notebook from behind a pillow and held it up, “Got it. Let’s go inside.”

“Hm~” They dashed the few meters from the covered patio to the staircase door and were soon inside, smiling at one another. Ryuuji went to grab for his notebook, but Tomo moved it out of his reach and above his head.

“Are you going to let me read it?” Tomo asked, a genuine smile shining brightly on his face.

Ryuuji crossed his arms, “It’s not finished yet. It’s . . . it’s not-”

Tomo made his way down the stairs to their floor, opening the book and finding the newly written page, “They’re song lyrics?”

“Too-mooo, stop- they’re not-”

“Ryuuji . . .” Tomo stopped just in front of their apartment door, his eyes wide.

“It’s a work in progress,” Ryuuji complained. He’d show to Tomohisa eventually; it was a song for Kitakore, after all, but he just wasn’t ready.

“No, they’re not bad, I just-”

“What?” Ryuuji studied the other’s eyes as they continued to scan the page without looking up.

“I can already hear you singing them.”

“Stop . . . ,” Ryuuji blushed, rolled his eyes, and opened the door to go inside the home they shared.

 

_I want to love you_

_But to love you is to trust you_

_Too close too close_

_You get too close and it’s no longer a choice_

 

_I’m smiling I’m laughing_

_I want you to see me happy_

_I’m wasting I’m crying_

_I want you to look away_

 

_I want to hold you_

_But to hold you is to let go_

_Too close Too close_

_You get too close and it’s no longer a choice_

 

_I’m smiling I’m laughing_

_I want you to see me happy_

_I’m wasting I’m crying_

_I want you to look away_

 

_I want to kiss you_

_But to kiss you is to fall in love_

_Too close Too close_

_You get too close and it’s no longer a choice_

 

_I wanted too much but in the end you spoiled me_

_I wanted everything and in the end you gave it to me_

_In the end, I realized we wanted the same thing_

 

_I want to love you_

_But to love you is to trust you_

_Too close too close_

_You get too close and it’s no longer a choice_

  
Tomohisa understood now, finally. Most of Ryuuji’s lyrics, his songs . . . they were about him. How had he been so blind?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg, it is easy to write shamelessly terrible lyrics. Mmm, watcha say . . .  
> I might come back later and edit this; I wrote it pretty quickly. OTL


	7. Sixth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your comments and kindness. I'm surprised there are so few fics for B-Pro when, though it is incredibly ridiculous, it has so much more depth to it than Tsukiuta. ~~(just sayin')~~  
>  /the animation on this week's episode though damn . . . they save their whole budget for chest shots and sparkles, I swear

As the informal B-Project meeting concluded in the lobby of the apartment building, Tsubasa called after the B-Project members with a small bow and warm appreciation, “Ah, thank you all for meeting together today to discuss the summer fan magazine!”

Everyone returned her kindness with their own unique response and in seconds, they began to disperse.

“Oh, Ryuuji-kun!” Tsubasa called suddenly causing heads to turn.

She ran up to him where he and Kitakado had stopped before exiting the building through the large front double doors. 

“Yes, Tsubasa-san?”

The others moved in, curious, as Tsubasa smiled proudly, “You have an offer for a commercial!”

Ryuuji blinked and pointed towards his nose, “Hmmm? Just me? You mean Kitakore?”

Tsubasa fiddled with her hands, suddenly nervous, “No, actually . . . just you.”

“What?”

Hikaru, now behind Tsubasa with the rest of Moons, turned to give a thumbs up in his direction. “Wow, way to go Ryu-kun!”, he exclaimed in a sing-song voice.

Goushi, with Thrive on either side of him, gave a small grin of approval, “Not bad.”

Nome nodded his head, “That’s great, Kore-kun.”

“Please explain,” Ryuuji was surprised, but, unlike the others, he was by no means ready to celebrate. Something about Tsubasa’s demeanor was telling him to be cautious.

Tsubasa tried to smile and hide her nervousness as best she could, “Well, it seems Kiss and Hug’s photographer shared a few of the photos . . . that weren’t published,” she added vaguely, ”. . . with his friends . . . one of which happens to be in advertising.”

Now it made since. Ryuuji did his best to hide his true feelings in the matter, “What? You mean . . . you mean of me in a dress?”

Tsubasa nodded, keeping her smile in place, “Yes . . . it’s an offer for a makeup commercial.”

“Whoa,” Aizome said, clearly impressed.

“I’m not interested,” Ryuuji answered quickly.

“I-I understand, but, if I may say, they were very adamant. They really want to hire you.” It was unlike Tsubasa to press such a subject. Either Yashamaru had really stressed the commercial’s importance to her or she had heard the request directly from the source.

“What do you mean?” Ryuuji asked, skeptical but curious.

“They want you to star in it-” she said quickly only to pause before adding, “only you.”

Ryuuji blushed deeply.

Kazuna spoke up, all of B-Pro now surrounding them in the lobby, “If you’re comfortable with it, you should accept.”

Yuuta nearly reached for Ryuuji’s hands in his excitement but held back as he exclaimed his admiration in the matter, “Wow! None of us have done anything solo before.” It wasn’t exactly true, but it was a fact that none of them had been hired for something this big on their own.

“Even Mamirin has her mascot and sidekicks in her commercials!” Mikado exclaimed, clearly trying to encourage Ryuuji but really only succeeding in making him inwardly roll his eyes.

He felt a firm and familiar hand on his back, and Tomo’s voice all but whispered in his ear, “This is a good opportunity, Ryuuji.”

Ryuuji turned back to Tsubasa, his expression blank, “Which brand is it?”

“Shu Uemura.”

Everyone went silent for a moment.

Tsubasa took the opportunity to try encouraging Ryuuji in her own way, “They only ever use models specific to their brand or famous actresses. They’ve never used a male in their advertising. However, I can talk to Yashamaru-san about keeping your identity a secret, but, even knowing you’re male, they still have said they want to hire you.”

Ryuuji couldn’t speak as the reality hit him, and he could no longer hide the long suppressed blush in his cheeks. “I . . . , ” he took a deep breath and released it slowly, “If it doesn’t interfere with B-Pro or Kitakore, I’ll do it.” 

Tsubasa nearly jumped in excitement, her smile beaming and leaving everyone temporarily distracted. Her beauty was average except for in moments like these where she wholeheartedly focused on the success of B-Pro, and they could all see that. “That’s so good to hear! That’s great! Of course, we wouldn’t let it interfere with other schedules. I’ll let Yashamaru-san know right away.” With that, she broke away from the circle of men to pull out her cell phone and make the call.

“Wow!” Hikaru beamed.

“This is so cool!” Yuuta added.

Mikado added to the dramatics as he adjusted his glasses on his nose, “I get to see my sweet maiden once more.”

Ryuuji snapped, “Who is a sweet maiden?” 

Momo spoke then, quiet and thoughtful, “I wonder what kind of commercial it will be. Everything Shu Uemura does is very artsy and sophisticated for the most part.”

Tomo smiled playfully, “That shouldn’t be a problem for you, right, Ryuuji?”

Ryuuji merely shook his head, and stared at empty space. He couldn’t meet any of their eyes at the moment, “I’m . . . shocked.”

“We can tell,” Momo said gently.

“It’s not often that you’re left not knowing what to say,” Tomo teased.

Tsubasa ended the call and made her way back over to them, “Okay, it’s scheduled for next week. It’s a new set of eyeshadow palettes representing the four seasons. Apparently, they want you to showcase all four looks.”

Ryuuji moved to sit down in the lobby chair a few steps away. He didn’t think he could manage standing any longer.

While Yuuta and Tomohisa had seen such behavior before, the others were not used to seeing Ryuuji lacking confidence.

“You can do this, Ryuuji,” Tomo walked over to his side, smiling as always. 

“That’s a lot to demand,” is all Ryuuji could say in response.

Tsubasa moved in front of him and bent down somewhat to be eye level with him, “Korekuni-san, they’re asking you because they believe you are the best for the job.”

Ryuuji turned away quickly, blushing, “Th-thank you, Tsubasa-san.” She was very cute when she was so focused on her job.

“So cool!” Hikaru laughed happily, “We should celebrate!”

Kazuna cut in suddenly, “He hasn’t made the commercial  _ yet _ , Hikaru.”

The atmosphere dropped suddenly, tension in the air created solely by the single line. Aizome’s eyes shot from Kazuna’s to Tomohisa’s. Those words had been entirely intentional, and when he looked at Ryuuji, he assumed they had hit their mark.

“I’m sure that-” Tomo began before he was interrupted by Ryuuji.

“I agree. Anything could happen, Hikaru, so let’s wait until it’s actually on air. . . . What I was wearing when I had amnesia was nothing like Shu Uemura’s typical style. They could meet me the day of the shoot and decide they’d made a mistake. These things happen.” Ryuuji’s tone was entirely detached and professional. This was a job, nothing more. He had played parts in dramas and films; this was no different. He had done modeling here and there without Tomo by his side; this was no different. Still, Kazuna was right. He was a professional, but he didn’t exactly fit the bill for Shu Uemura. If he were able to pull this off and actually make it known that it was his work, it could change the whole course of his career.

No one said anything for several seconds, everyone avoiding both Kazuna and Ryuuji’s eyes save for Tsubasa who smiled at Ryuuji kindly as she spoke, “You were going to go shopping with Kitakado-san, right? I think there is a Shu Uemura makeup studio in Shinjuku.” She nodded and straightened as she remembered, “Yes, there is a big one in Omotesando.”

“I’ll check it out today, Tsubasa-san. Thank you.”

“Of-of course!” she blushed.

Ryuuji blinked, curious. Was it really so rare that he show gratitude towards her?

“Are you ready then, Ryuuji?” Tomo asked.

“Send us pictures if you get a makeover, okay?” Yuuta asked, smiling.

Aizome shook his head, “At Shu Uemura, you have to book those things at least a few weeks in advance.”

“Ehhhh? Really? It’s that famous?” Hikaru turned to him, surprised.

“Ahh, if we didn’t have work today, I would have liked to go!” Mikado whined playfully.

Soon enough, everyone got around to saying their goodbyes and parting ways once more. As soon as Tomohisa and Ryuuji had made it to the station to catch the Yamanote, Tomohisa pulled him around a corner, tilted his chin up, and kissed Ryuuji’s forehead softly.

Ryuuji blushed and moved away, quickly checking left and right for anyone that had seen them, “Tomo, what was that for?”

Tomohisa pulled out his sunglasses and put them on over his eyes before giving a gentle smile, “Congratulations, Ryuuji.”


	8. An Exercise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This trash is how I calm down after a stressful week of work. Thank you for enjoying it.

Ryuuji was still finding it hard to believe that B-Pro had enough fans to release their own summer fan magazine, but if Gandara Music was requesting and funding it, then likely their single was making enough money to warrant it. So, here they were, all on a bus headed towards the beach. From there, they’d take photos on the sand before going on a boat out into the ocean. At least the weather was perfect for it.

Ryuuji looked to his left to see Yuuta struggle to stay awake. He had somehow been roped into watching some sort of anime marathon with Mikado and Momotarou. Ryuuji, himself, had barely escaped being roped into watching the same marathon. Thankfully, Tomohisa had saved him by requesting in front of Mikado that they finish the song they’d been working on for Kitakore instead. Ryuuji realized he’d owe him for that one. On Ryuuji’s right was Tomohisa, and when he looked over, he realized that Tomo had been watching him. Their eyes met, and his lips curled into a knowing grin which only made Tomo’s smile grow even more affectionate.

Kazuna turned in his seat to look behind him at the three in the last row. He watched as Ryuuji and Tomohisa stared at each other and carried on some kind of wordless conversation with their eyes alone.

“Tch,” he turned back around and rested his head against the glass of the window. As per usual, he was seated alone. Tatsuhiro and Hikaru usually sat together while Momotarou and Mikado usually sat opposite. They had designated him the leader of Moons, but the truth was, it was a title that only separated him from the others. He wanted to stand out, yes, but at times, he wondered what its true cost was, and he wondered how much he’d sacrifice if it meant shining brighter than all of them. Kazuna knew he was not yet strong enough to shine on his own, but he spent a lot of time wishing he was. Things would be better, he was sure, if he could carry his own solo career; it would mean he'd be recognized by her, and that was truly what he wanted most. Not yet, though. There was still too much he needed to learn . . . and there were people standing in his way- people that effortlessly shined brighter than he ever could. He closed his eyes to try and erase the picture of Kitakado and Korekuni together, but to no avail. That night by the lake he had never seen Tomohisa shine so brilliantly.

Was that what _love_ did to people?

Once they arrived at their first location, many of them were ushered into a van for makeup. They had already dressed in the hotel, but, even for a day at the beach, they would have to be airbrushed for the photoshoot.

Kitakore was first, so, once they finished, they waited outside alone and on set staring out at the sea. Many people were moving about setting up lights and reflectors and cameras, but they sat patiently waiting under the provided umbrellas.

“Tomo?” Ryuuji drew out his name slightly in a pout.

“Yes, Ryuuji?” Tomohisa looked beside him to see that the other was looking out at the ocean.

“Are you going to say it?” his pout disappeared, and his tone grew sharper.

“Say _it_?” Tomohisa smiled beside him waiting for some amount of clarification.

“Hmm, that we’re . . .”

“Yes?”

Ryuuji pulled his knees closer and against his chest as he focused on the waves in front of him, “That you and I are . . .”

There was only a beat before Tomohisa chuckled, “Oh, you mean that you and I are together?”

Ryuuji drew a cat in the sand.

Kitakado laid down beside him, his eyes on Ryuuji’s back and a gentle smile on his face. “You were my first kiss, Ryuuji.”

Ryuuji turned suddenly, blushing as he said, “What? Liar.”

Tomohisa chuckled, expecting the reaction, “Yes, you were.” He put a hand over Ryuuji’s left and held back bringing it to his lips to place a kiss there. He went on, hoping to redden Ryuuji’s cheeks even more, “And, as long as I’m allowed to kiss you, I won’t be kissing anyone else.”

Ryuuji smiled and folded their hands together, interlacing their fingers, “M-me too, then.”

“Oh?” Tomohisa smiled, an eyebrow raised.

Ryuuji blinked, his long lashes fluttering as he tried not to be too obvious, “Yes, I won’t . . . with anyone else, either.”

Tomohisa grinned, “Good. I might get jealous otherwise.”

“You? Jealous?” Ryuuji relaxed at that and laughed back.

“Perhaps?”

“I almost want to see that,” he grinned mischievously as he laid down beside Tomo on his side, his head propped up in his palm as his elbow dug in the sand.

“Ryuuji,” Tomohisa said softly. They were closer now, close enough that he could smell Ryuuji’s familiar scent before the sand and the sea.

“Tomo-” Ryuuji realized what Tomo wanted. He could see it in his eyes. He wanted the same thing.

“Yes?” Tomohisa took a deep breath and focused only on Ryuuji.

“Tomo, I-” Ryuuji slowly began to close the distance between them.

“Ryuuji,” Tomo repeated encouragingly as he let his eyes fall closed.

“Stop!” A powerful force separated them suddenly, preventing them from ever actually initiating the kiss.

“Y-Yuuta?” Ryuuji fell back and then sat up quickly. He allowed himself to be separated from Tomo, his eyes now solely focused on the one with the bubblegum pink hair.

Yuuta felt his body shaking as he separated them, “Stop! Stop. Please-I-”

Tomo’s voice was immediately gentle, “Ashuu-kun, please calm down.” He sat up as well, and gently put a hand on Yuuta’s shoulder, “What we-”

Ryuuji interrupted suddenly, his tone harsh and unforgiving, “Nothing. There is nothing going on, Yuu-chan.”

Yuuta, who was currently on his knees in the sand, put his hands in his lap and continued shaking his head back and forth as he spoke, “But you- the two of you were about to-” He couldn’t say it. He couldn’t believe it. He was so upset and for what? Was he jealous? Was he angry that Ryuuji had never told him? Did he want to be that close to Ryuuji? What was wrong with him? What was wrong with them?

Ryuuji, face blank, calmly moved forward and put his hands on Yuuta’s shoulders and forced their eyes to meet, “You’re mistaken. It’s an exercise.”

“An exercise?” Yuuta instantly regretted the blush on his cheeks and did his best to will it away. Ryuuji’s right hand moved to the back of his neck to keep hold of his eyes and to trap him in his gaze, and Ryuuji’s serious expression always left Yuuta confused and desperate.

Tomohisa moved back to sit on the other end of a towel to create some distance and bit into his lip. He didn’t want to lie, and he especially didn’t want to put that lie on Ryuuji’s shoulders, but it was Ryuuji’s decision, so it would be up to him to see it through. Ryuuji was an adult, and it was not up to Tomohisa to decide what was best for him.

“We practice looks for shoots and what-not with each other,” Ryuuji smiled as he spoke and his tone became lighter with each word.

“Looks?” Yuuta blinked, eyes moving back and forth between them, confused.

“Seduction should come easily for an idol. Also, an idol should have many facets and faces; we should be able to execute any look expertly.” Ryuuji let go of Yuuta and winked playfully.

“Seduction?”

He shrugged, “So, sometimes, we practice with one another and give feedback, which, if you were so convinced, then maybe we have mastered the ‘seduction’ look-hah!” Ryuuji punctuated his lie with a laugh. “What, did you actually think Tomo and I would kiss?” He continued laughing, and fell back on the towel to let go of Yuuta, “Yuuta, come on, we’ve known each other forever!”

Tomo didn’t like the situation at all, but he had enough experience as an actor to put on a smiling face and play along. There was something about Ashuu’s expression upon finding them like that that wouldn’t leave him- not to mention his initial response.

Yuuta was blushing madly by now; that was exactly what he had thought. “An exercise?” he stammered.

Ryuuji gave one of his signature mischievous poses and again, winked playfully, “Sure, would you like me to practice with you?”

Yuuta looked away, his head fuzzy, “Ah-haha, maybe another time . . .”

Ryuuji pouted and shrugged his shoulders, “If you say so.” Ryuuji leaned back and turned his head to see Tomohisa, “Toomoo, I’m thinking Yuuta can’t handle my seduction look.”

Tomohisa smiled as the remaining members of Thrive joined them, “Few can, Ryuuji. It has taken me some time to build up an immunity.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /spoilers/ ~~~~  
> I watched the scene where Ryuuji practically jumped into Tomo's arms and they held hands at the announcement of the live. Like, guys . . . guys . . . really . . .


	9. Seventh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> crybabies

 

“Yuuta?” Ryuuji had long since realized their separation from the others, but, even at the cost of possibly getting lost on the small island, he realized that addressing his friend’s very obvious concern was priority.

When Yuuta kept walking, Ryuuji called him again, louder this time. Whatever was on the Thrive member’s mind was major; he hoped it had nothing to do with what had happened before the photoshoot. Yuuta was a kind person; he probably just felt bad about the obento, which was ridiculous, because really, it wasn’t that much extra food anyway.

“Yuuta!”

Finally, Yuuta responded, but only with words, “What is it, Ryu-chan?” He continued his trek forward without looking back.

That wasn’t a good sign.

“There is no one behind us.”

He gasped, finally stopped walking, and turned around, a grim expression on his face. “Did we get separated?”

“I was stupid for following you,” Ryuuji said bluntly; it was impossible to know if he was teasing or genuinely annoyed at this point.  
“I really am useless, aren’t I?” Yuuta couldn’t bear to look at his long-time friend now. He wanted, instead, to stare at anything else. The trees wouldn’t judge him, and neither would the rocks in the ground or ants that were frantically walking in a line one behind the other across the path they’d made.

“What?” Ryuuji questioned the self-pity party immediately. He wouldn’t accept it- especially not from Yuuta. H’ed known him since they’d met at the Bambi school and while it was possible for Yuuta to be discouraged, he was usually the one always cheering others up.

“I ruined the food we found and unlike Mikarin and Nomechi, I don’t know anything. On top of that, when you had amnesia, I couldn’t do anything for you.” His breathing hitched and his vision blurred and he realized he was actually crying, “I couldn’t heroically save you like Tomo-kun did.”

Ryuuji walked over until he was but half a meter in front of him. Without warning, he broke any personal barriers Yuuta had and placed his hands flat against the other’s cheeks. His expression became serious and stern, “What’s gotten into you?” Ryuuji could feel the soft skin beneath his palms begin to warm and his thumbs wiped at the escaping salt water. He added, flatly, “There’s no way you could ever be cooler.”

Yuuta didn’t push Ryuuji away but instead elicited a short laugh, “You’re right considering how clumsy I am; it’s only natural.” He’d never push Ryuuji away- not now or ever. He liked having Ryuuji’s attention and he especially liked how bold his friend could be at times. Even though he felt helpless by the comment, he still felt like the most important person in the world with Ryuuji wiping his tears now.

“That’s not what I meant,” Ryuuji sighed and pulled his hands away to cross his arms and tilt his head thoughtfully, “That’s not what I’m trying to say. You and Tomo are different people. There are things Tomo can’t do that you can do and vice versa.” He smiled gently, hoping that it was enough to calm Yuuta’s fears despite being so incredibly vague. “Though, I wouldn’t be happy unless you’re both around.” And, it was true. Truthfully, he had always seen Tomohisa as someone separate from everyone else- an exception, so to speak, to every rule he may have contrived over the years for relationships. Yuuta was a genuinely good person that he was grateful for having as a friend, but Tomohisa . . . he was the one thing Ryuuji could never live without.

Yuuta blinked before trying to smile back, wiping his face clean with the back of his hand, “There are things the perfect Tomo-kun can’t do?” He couldn’t think of anything, and he doubted the validity of Ryuuji’s statement. He’s seen them just earlier that day, so close, so close to crossing a line of intimacy he trusted Ryuuji would never cross with anyone. “Like what?” his smile disappeared and he sucked in air quickly through his mouth to fill his lungs as if preparing himself for some kind of attack. He’d never imagined it. He’d never imagined that Ryuuji would allow himself to be seduced by such things; he never imagined he would break contract like that. Not until now.

Ryuuji hadn’t expected this. Yuuta’s smile didn’t sit on his face quite right. There was something he was trying to hide beneath it. Ryuuji’s heart quickened in pace as he went through the possible reasons for Yuuta’s distrust.

They all led back to his recent treatment of Tomohisa.

Yuuta could see it, faint, in Ryuuji’s eyes- fear. He’d seen them nearly kiss in the dressing room that day, he was sure now. He was sure now because they had nearly kissed earlier on the beach, too. Ryuuji was hiding this all from him, and that upset him more than anything else. Yuuta shook his head and smiled meekly allowing the volume of his voice to make up for his expression, “I know! Like getting along with Massu!”

Ryuuji breathed a small sigh of relief but made a mental note to be more careful. He was losing Yuuta’s trust already; he could tell.  “Tomo and Kazu, huh? You do have a point about that . . . but those two . . .” Ryuuji’s thoughts took over and caused his speech to trail off. They had a special bond, one that was older than the one between Ryuuji and Yuuta and one that held many more memories behind it than the one between Ryuuji and Tomo.

It didn’t make Ryuuji jealous exactly, but it was unsettling. It was terribly easy to love Tomohisa; he could not say with confidence that he was alone in that.

 

<><><><>

 

“Kazu?” Tomohisa immediately breathed a sigh of relief when he found the blonde holding a flashlight in his hand with a surprised expression. He knew how sensitive Kazuna was; being left alone would have been the last straw for him under these circumstances.

“Tomohisa?” Other than looking rather bewildered, Kazuna seemed fine.

Tomo smiled, “Good, I’m glad you weren’t left in the dark.”

“What?” Kazu guarded himself suddenly, closing himself off to Tomohisa’s concern, “What’s going on?”

Tomohisa waved his hand in dismissal, still wearing a gentle smile despite Kazuna’s obvious displeasure from his presence, “The other two came running out of the cave, so I was worried that it might be pitch black inside for you.”

Kazuna turned his back to him and, without warning, continued on through the cave carefully, “I’ll be fine on my own. I’ll come back once I am done investigating the cave.”

This wasn’t new behavior for Kazuna. They had known each other for some time- since middle school- and had worked together in the same area. Though he had known Ryuuji longer, Ryuuji had always lived in Tokyo so they had only seen each other on occasion. He considered both of them very dear to him, but, with each passing day, he was beginning to realize how little he shared those feelings and what affect his silence had on them.  

Tomo grabbed for his arm to stop him, “You can’t, Kazuna. It’s dangerous.”

Kazuna jerked himself free and took a few steps to distance himself once more, “I want to be alone! I prefer it this way!”

“Kazu!” Tomohisa’s voice matched Kazuna’s sudden outburst.

“Leave me alone!” Kazuna snapped before falling to his knees and covering his eyes with the arm that wasn’t holding the flashlight. He was crying.

Kitakado’s eyes went wide. He hadn’t realized; he hadn’t realized that whatever was bothering his friend was hurting him this much. Was it his inaction that had caused it to come this far and amount to this much? He had known that Kazuna was hurting, but he had thought that by being patient, the other man would have eventually come forward to discuss it.

“I’m sorry,” Tomohisa knelt down to be eye level with him.

“Shut up!” Kazuna shook his head, wiping now at tears that fell mercilessly hot down his cheeks, “You’re always casually standing in front of me and shining brighter than anyone. Especially now that you’re with-” He stopped, shut his eyes tightly before opening them again and looking directly at his friend, “Tomohisa, as long as you are standing in front of me, my mother will never find me. I look so dim compared to your light.”

“I see. You don’t realize how bright you are.” Kitakado moved closer and tried to place a gentle hand on Kazuna’s shoulder, but the other only batted it away immediately. It hurt, but Tomohisa kept speaking, “Just as you see me, you appear blindingly bright to me as you continue to take steps forward, Masunaga Kazuna.” Kazuna looked up at Tomohisa, listening intently, “But through some miracle, we are not Kitakore or Moons. We’re B-Project. Ten is far better than one.” Kitakado put on a smile as he remembered them performing altogether as one, “I saw it then. B-Pro illuminated the world. Our light can reach anyone- even your mother.”

It was a beautiful thought, and it was a beautiful way to look at things. Kazuna wanted to see things that way, too, but it was difficult. Feeling the way he did about himself, even such beautiful words coming from Tomohisa himself could not ease his pain. Still, they were kind. Those words were thoughtful. Tomohisa was thinking of him and thinking of what they could accomplish together. Kazuna could find some amount of peace in that.

It was Tomohisa that brought out every emotion in him. If only he knew what power he possessed . . .

“Hey, did you hear the voices this way?”

Tomohisa stood suddenly, “Ryuuji?”

Kazuna felt his stomach do a flip. He couldn’t- he didn’t want to see them together. After what had just happened, Kazuna was not ready to face others. He wiped furiously at his face.

After a few hurried footsteps, Ryuuji came running in their direction, “Tomo!”

Kazuna watched as Tomohisa lit up again, like he had that night, his eyes sparkling with adoration. He watched as the two ran to meet one another only to stop suddenly short of embracing.

Kazuna felt sick.

“Ah! Thank goodness,” Yuuta beamed with relief as if he were worried they’d meet someone else on the island.

“Where did you come from?” Tomo asked, standing between Kazuna and the other two. He was trying to give Kazuna time to get himself together, and the thoughtfulness made Masunaga’s heart ache with contradictions.

“We found another entrance to the cave.”

Yuuta, kind to a fault and clueless as ever, walked around Kitakado to question the Moons leader, “What’s wrong Massu?”

Kazuna stood up and, blushing, tried to wave it off, “Nothing, nothing.”

Ryuuji called him out immediately, his own concern coming out tactlessly forward, “Were you crying?”

“I wasn’t crying!”

“Hmm?” Ryuuji blinked. It was clear by his offense alone that he had been- nevermind his puffy, red eyes and wet lashes. Ryuuji immediately shot Tomo a look, but he was looking at Kazuna himself.

Yuuta broke the silence, “There’s a beautiful place back the other way.”

“A beautiful place?” Tomo asked curiously.

Yuuta nodded and grabbed for Masunaga’s arm, “Yes! Massu, let’s get the others and stay there for tonight?”

“ _Where_ first?” Kazuna didn’t trust to find their way back with Yuuta alone knowing the way.

“I’ll show you.”

Ashuu and Korekuni lead the other two to an opening in the cave that was bathed in moonlight and offered a breathtaking view of an ocean of stars.

Kitakado smiled, “It’s very beautiful.”

“Wow,” Kazuna couldn’t help but feel a little better with the find. It would be a nice place to sleep and beneath the stars . . . Living in Tokyo, it was rare to see more than a few each night.

“Good find, you two,” Tomohisa added.

Ryuuji put his hands on his hips and smiled as well, “This is the product of our combined good luck.”

Yuuta blushed. He didn’t think he was lucky at all, but if Ryuuji said so, he’d attempt to believe it.

“You two go and get the others?” he added.

Yuuta went for Kazuna again, “Sure! Let’s go, Massu. Please light the way.”

“Of course . . .” Kazuna looked back to see the other two waving them off. He didn’t want to leave them alone. If they were alone, then-

Yuuta stopped once they were several meters inside the cave and dimmed the flashlight before turning it off.

Kazuna watched, puzzled, “Hey, let’s go.”

“Sure, we’ll wait here.” Yuuta turned back around and began quietly making his way back to the entrance to the cave opening, hiding in the shadow to keep from being seen. There was just enough moonlight to see where they were going.

Masunaga followed him nervously, “Ashuu-kun?”

“Shh- just wait a second.”

It was very clear what was happening, and it was already making Kazuna anxious, “Are you _eavesdropping_?”

Yuuta shook his head, expression completely serious, “I’m just . . . investigating.”

“Investigating?” Kazuna frowned. Ashuu had his moments, but he wasn’t known in the group for discretion. If he was investigating what he thought, that meant that Kazuna now had to make a decision. He could say nothing and likely let Tomohisa and Korekuni get caught, or he could make Yuuta leave and protect them and their secret.

“You made Masunaga-san cry?”

From where they were hiding, they could hear the conversation between the members of Kitakore clearly.

Kazuna made no move to leave.

Tomohisa was smiling as he watched Ryuuji in the moonlight, “It wasn’t like that.”

“Hmm?” Ryuuji crossed his arms and waited.

“Ryuuji?”

Blunty put, Ryuuji shared his assumptions, “He wants you, Tomo.”

Kitakado looked up, surprised, “Ryuuji, it isn’t like that at all.” He took a step towards his partner.

Ryuuji smiled mischievously, “The way he looks at you . . . it’s more than mere admiration.” But then, his smile faltered and he was quiet before he said thoughtfully, “You move his heart.”

Kazuna could feel Yuuta’s eyes bore into him as his own eyes shook with fear. Ryuuji could see it, and now he was telling Tomohisa what Kazuna wasn’t ready to come forward with- perhaps would _never_ be ready to come forward with.

Tomohisa gently placed his hands on Ryuuji’s shoulders, “Ryuuji, it really isn’t-”

But immediately, Ryuuji ducked away, “Then you’re blind.” He tried to approach it as emotionally removed from it as he could.

Tomohisa hadn’t been ready for such a conversation, and he spoke without thinking, “You’re jealous of nothing. Nothing happened.” He was trying not to feel guilty towards Kazuna, but this was only making it worse.

If Ryuuji could tell that the conversation was beginning to cause his partner some amount of distress, he didn’t let on. He was too focused on finding out the truth. “ _Something_ happened. I’m not jealous, but I don’t like that you won’t admit it. Don’t lie about it.”

“Yet you think lying will-”

Ryuuji interrupted abruptly, “I did what I had to in order to keep our secret. It was a small, white lie. Did Masunga just confess his feelings to you? And he was crying because you rejected him?”

In the cave, Yuuta turned again to look at Kazuna, but Kazuna’s face was hidden behind his hands.

Tomohisa began to feel helpless. Was what Ryuuji saying really true? It couldn’t be. His tone went cold as his emotions built up, “I _told_ you it wasn’t like that,” but when he saw Ryuuji’s expression, everything he felt dissipated into smoke, “Don’t you trust me?” Even if it was only a second, Ryuuji had looked at him with fear. Was he frightening? He supposed he had the potential to be, and if he did, then that would have to be a part of himself that he’d keep hidden forever then.

Ryuuji had seen Tomohisa angry before, but only once or twice and never _at him_ , at least, not since they were very young. “I do.” He reached for his partner’s hands and took them in his own, “Of course I do.” Something was going on between Masunaga and Tomohisa, but he trusted Tomo. He trusted that whatever was going on, Tomo either didn’t see it or was in complete denial.

Tomohisa pulled his partner closer to him until he could wrap his arms around him in an embrace. A long moment went by until he finally asked, “Then . . . must it remain a secret, Ryuuji?”

Ryuuji didn’t pull away, but instead spoke right into Tomo’s face, “Of course. It’s in our contract. B-Pro is coming up; we can’t ruin this for everyone.”

Tomo remained gentle and rested his forehead on Ryuuji’s. “Would them knowing truly ruin it?” he whispered.

“Yes,” Ryuuji responded without hesitation.

“Ryuuji-” Tomo pulled him closer, concerned. He was not perfect. He could so easily ruin things. Even if others didn’t see his imperfections, he knew they were there.

Ryuuji pulled away just enough to look up into the other’s eyes, “Tomo, just . . . . shut up and kiss me.”

And so he did. Wrapping his arms completely around Ryuuji, he leaned down to kiss him suddenly on the mouth. Without reservation, shyness, or restraint, as soon as Ryuuji opened his mouth to invite Tomo in, Tomo pressed himself inside further, his tongue exploring what had previously been untouched. Ryuuji let go of his own restraint and moaned into his partner’s mouth as he began to lose footing with the passion Tomohisa was forcing upon him. Tomohisa, as he ended the kiss just to initiate another one, gently took control and lead Ryuuji down to the ground. Ryuuji, back to the dirt of the open cave floor,  reached out to grab at Tomohisa’s feather white hair to pull him closer and on top of him. Tomohisa finally broke his onslaught of kisses only to begin trailing them down Ryuuji’s neck.

“Ah-Tomo-” Ryuuji’s hands fled from his partner’s hair only to press flat into Tomohisa’s chest. He was trying to catch his breath, but as Tomo continued to kiss him, his heart only quickened in pace.

In the cave, Yuuta had turned his back to the scene. He was feeling now the same way he had felt earlier that day on the beach on the mainland. He felt angry and betrayed, and completely confused. He wanted to cry. He wanted to run out and stop them. Instead, he sat in the dark, completely dumbfounded, and turned to look at Kazuna as if he’d find some amount of answers there.

He didn’t.

With silent sobs, Kazuna was crying.

Ryuuji finally found the ability to speak properly when Tomohisa stopped his affections to finally catch his own breath, “I don’t like arguing with you. Please understand that I have everyone’s interests at heart, including yours. It is too much of a risk.”

“I understand,” Tomo breathed. And, on some level, he did. They were idols first.

“You do?” Ryuuji blinked, cheeks pink as his chest rose and fell.

Tomo’s right hand gently caressed the side of Ryuuji’s face, “Yes, but it saddens me that you don’t trust them more.”

Ryuuji felt his blush deepen from the deeply affectionate gesture, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

Ryuuji closed his eyes and turned his head away. “I . . . I need you, Tomo.” After a moment, he looked up again to see Tomo smiling down at him with a halo of stars. He couldn’t say it directly, not while looking at him. If he had, it would have been possible that even Tomo would have been able to realize just how deeply his affections ran.

Tomohisa’s smile stayed in place, “And I you, Ryuuji.” He leaned in to initiate another kiss, but this one was not as passionate and desperate as the last one had been. Neither was it sweet and chaste as many of the ones that came before. This kiss was pure affection.

Yuuta stood up slowly. This was their chance. If he and Kazuna were going to leave without being noticed, now would be the time. He was relieved that he only had to tug on Masunaga’s arm twice before he silently stood up and followed after him.

“We have to stop,” Ryuuji, now flushed and wonting in more ways than one, announced that he would cease participating.

Tomohisa, blushing himself, could only smile back, “You’re right.” He moved off of Ryuuji and laid down beside him, “this is neither the time nor place.”

Ryuuji sat up and brought his legs together, pulling his knees close to him, “Let’s, um, just- we’ll sing.”

Kitakado laughed lightly before sitting up himself and turning his back so that they could lean upon one another, “You’re so cute, Ryuuji.”

“Did you come up with a melody?” Ryuuji did not need to hear compliments at the moment. He was uncomfortably hard and wanted nothing more than to play out a hundred different fantasies with Tomohisa, but as he’d said- not the time nor place.

“I did. I’ll hum it. See if the lyrics match,” Tomo understood as he was feeling a similar need.

“They always do.”

Nothing had been solved exactly. They wanted each other. They trusted each other.

But, there were still things left unsaid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that got out of hand.


	10. Holy

“Two days?” Ryuuji blinked.

Kitakore and Sumisora were meeting in the lobby of their apartment complex to discuss their upcoming schedule. 

Tsubasa smiled, confirming, “Yes, they’re doing two looks a day.”

Ryuuji sighed, “It’s all in a studio at least?” He tried not to show how nervous he was by acting as though he couldn’t be bothered. No one was fooled by his current behavior, because every now and again his anxiety would slip through. 

“Yes,” Tsubasa’s tone became more gentle. She understood where Korekuni was coming from if only because any time they committed to something as a big as a commercial, there was usually some form of pre-meeting, but not even Tsubasa had met with anyone representing Shu Uemura or the director for the commercial. Still, she wished that he would have more confidence in himself; she could remember that even she found him incredibly cute dressed as a girl and it was rare for her to find any females particularly attractive. 

It was clear that Ryuuji was still waiting for them to suddenly change their mind; he just didn’t see how he fit Shu Uemura’s image at all. 

Kitakado broke their thoughts with a warm voice, “I have work until the afternoon on the first day. I will stop by if you are still filming.”

“No.” Ryuuji set down his cup of tea and frowned. He would not compromise. 

Tomohisa chuckled, “No? Are you being shy?”

Ryuuji blushed lightly, “It’s not that. It’s just . . . not necessary.” He looked away, “Don’t go out of your way.”

Tomohisa understood and responded with, “Of course.”

Tsubasa relaxed before going on, “I’ll pick you up at six tomorrow, Korekuni-kun.”

 

The next day, Tsubasa and Korekuni sat in the back of a taxi. A silence had passed between them before Ryuuji finally looked over to her, “Tsubasa-san?”

“Hmm?” She returned the look to give Ryuuji her full attention.

“Are you dating anyone now?” he asked curiously.

She blushed immediately, “D-dating? No.” It was not unusual for her to overreact, but in this context, it could be interpreted in many ways.

Ryuuji responded thoughtfully, “Hmm, but you’re cute and well-meaning and-”

She laughed sheepishly, interrupting him, “I-I don’t have time, really.”

The male blinked and sat further back in the seat, “Oh, is it our fault?”

“What?” Tsubasa blanches and waved her arms dismissively, “No, no, that’s not what I mean.”

Ryuuji smiled, “I think I understand.”

Silence. Tsubasa couldn’t remove the pink in her cheeks. Korekuni found it cute, but he would never admit it aloud.

“You have experience though, right? Dating someone in the past?” He wasn’t looking for advice  _ exactly _ , but he was curious, because really . . . he had never talked to anyone about-

“Yes?” she offered, honestly.

“How do you tell someone . . .” he began but trailed off.

“Tell someone?” Tsubasa blinked, having an idea of where this was all going.

“Tell someone that you . . .”

“Like them?” she tried finishing for him.

“Love them.” Ryuuji corrected her, blushing as he looked up at her.

The heat in her cheeks nearly doubled as she fumbled over her words, “O-Oh, oh, w-well, first you should- well-” Korekuni was really cute then, looking at her so earnestly. He didn’t actually have feelings for her, right? Surely not. That would be terrible. She couldn’t handle that. It would be so sad.

Ryuuji tried to piece together some kind of understanding from her conflicting words and expressions, “I’m asking what you would do if you did.” When she said nothing, he added, “Love someone I mean.”

“I don’t love anyone now!” She quickly said.

“Huh?” Ryuuji blinked and then he finally understood.

“And I certainly wouldn’t think of anyone I know now as someone I could love,” she said, determined.

“Oh?” Ryuuji smiled knowingly.

“That’s right!” she beamed, hoping to have settled any fears that may have been crossing Korekuni’s mind.

Ryuuji smiled, “I understand, Tsubasa-san. Nevermind.” He smiled as he turned to look at the window. That hadn’t gone well. Oh well. It was cute that Tsubasa thought that he might be talking about her, though. It would be fun teasing her if it wasn’t for the fact that she was too easy to fool. He might end up actually hurting her feelings if he did. Oh well.

 

“Ryuuji-kun! You look so cute!” the hair stylist finished adjusting the wig in the makeup room just as the makeup artist walked in.

“Ehhh, Ryuuji-kun?” 

Ryuuji turned to see a familiar face, “Mi-Minako-san?” He hadn’t seen her in ages, but he used to be quite familiar with her; she did styling and make-up for him when he was a child.

She crossed the room to take his hands, glowing with excitement, “Ryuuji-kun, you’re the star of the commercial? Really?”

“Guilty, I suppose,” he said, smiling mischievously and relaxing a little.

She let him go and ushered him into a new chair by the counter decorated in makeup, “Lovely! So lovely! Ryuuji-kun, you’re perfect for Shu Uemura!” She looked at his reflection in the mirror and their eyes met. He could see her mind working quickly as she studied his face, “I’ll prove it to you now!”

“Thank you, Minako-san.”

“It’s been so long; you’ve grown so much but you still have that androgynous appeal! My, my, so beautiful.”

Ryuuji blushed lightly, trying to keep still as she began applying a primer, “Th-thank you, Minako-san . . .”

 

On set for the commercial, Ryuuji worked quickly and professionally. The others on set appeared pleased with his appearance and performance, and once the Autumn segment was done, he was asked to return to the dressing room to prepare for the Spring segment.

As he made his way through the hallway of the studio, he replayed the other’s reactions in his mind. Surely, they’d been pleased, and even better, they had praised him a few times . . . Hopefully not being public about his identity wouldn’t hurt the band in any way. Surely they wouldn’t hold anything against him if he kept the success private.

Not looking where he was going, Ryuuji suddenly bumped into someone in front of him, but instead of falling backwards, they caught him in their arms and steadied him.

“Ah, pardon me, princess, I-”

Ryuuji’s eyes went flat when he realized who it was, “Tomo, you really speak to women like that?”

Tomohisa let go and blinked, clearly surprised, “Ryuuji?” Wavy brown curls framed his face from the styled wig and instead of his usual eyes, bright green contacts stared up at him.  

“Am I so convincing?” Ryuuji gave a twirl in the short, otome style dress and it flared out around him as he spun. He did feel cute dressed in the boots and tights and cardigan. The accessories he had been adorned with were very fitting to the style he was portraying. He was a little happy Tomo saw him like this; he wanted to know if Tomo also found him to be cute.

When Tomohisa didn’t answer, he tried again, “Tomo?”

Tomohisa moved suddenly in front of and around Ryuuji and slammed his hand to the left of Ryuuji’s head so that it was flat against the wall leaving Ryuuji effectively pinned in place.

“T-Tomo?” Ryuuji whined slightly from the surprise. He hadn’t expected this at all. 

Tomo smiled beautifully, seemingly proud of himself, “Like you showed me, right? The kabodon, I-”

Ryuuji crossed his arms and turned his head to look away, “You can’t kiss me. This makeup took two and a half hours.” He was glad it was so thick. Hopefully Tomo couldn’t see the blush surely rising to his face beneath it. Yes, Tomohisa had effectively made use of the kabodon, but he taught him it months ago- and  _ not _ to use it on  _ him _ .  

“Of course,” Kitakado smiled more gently, but he didn’t move away.

“ . . . But you want to?” Ryuuji dared to ask, looking up at him suddenly behind long, false lashes. 

“Yes?” Tomo grinned, trying to follow Ryuuji’s line of thinking. Did he not realize he always wanted to kiss him? It didn’t matter what he was wearing; he was always beautiful.

“You think I’m-”

“Beautiful.” Tomo spoke his thoughts aloud. Deciding to take his flirtations a step further, he knelt down before Ryuuji , took his hand, and kissed it slowly and affectionately. 

“Tomo.” Ryuuji blushed more. Ryuuji wanted to believe that these sorts of affections- the way Tomo would act princely towards fans, would not work on him, but that was not the case. 

“My princess,” he whispered affectionately, enough to make Ryuuji’s whole body feel warm. 

“Tomo, stop-”

“You’re perfect, my princess.” Tomohisa, caught up in his own dramatics, felt his own desires take over as he kissed Ryuuji’s hand once more but this time leave his lips lingering on his skin.

Ryuuji looked away, feeling his heart now pounding in his chest, “You can get up now.”

Tomo didn’t move.

Ryuuji looked back and noticed how flushed the other’s cheeks were. It gave him the bit of confidence he needed to lean over and whisper into his ear, “We can finish this later, Tomo. It will have to wait until then.”

“Ryuuji?” Tomohisa let go and they both straightened.

“See you later, Tomo-kun!” Ryuuji winked before dodging out of his grasp and continuing down the hallway to the dressing room leaving a surprised and eventually smiling Tomo.

 

In the dressing room, Minako began going through the process of removing the wig before wiping away at the makeup.

“Korekuni-kun?” Minako questioned the red in his face and ears. “Were you turned on by someone in the studio?” she teased, laughing.

“Minako-san?” Ryuuji couldn’t remove his blush, and he couldn’t look away.

“You’re endlessly cute, Ryuuji-kun,” she smiled at his blushing reflection in the large mirror in front of them.

“Thank you, Minako-san.” Ryuuji produced a Chupa Chups and unwrapped it expertly.

“Ah-ah, no food until it’s over,” Minako eyed the lollipop with a frown. Ryuuji had never broken that habit, then? 

“Y-yes . . .” he set the lollipop back into the wrapper on the counter and stared at it. He recalled the events moments earlier. Tomo loved him even if enjoyed some things that were not quite normal. Ryuuji smiled a little. The support was appreciated. Maybe, when they were alone together, he could indulge in wearing the things he liked without anyone seeing him differently.

**Author's Note:**

> Please forgive me if this is all out of character. OTL  
> I plan on doing a 15 kiss challenge, and I have some prompts already, but if any of you would like to make requests, feel free to do so in a comment. I may or may not fill it depending on how inspired I am and time.  
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
